CAN IT REALLY EXIST; FIRENDSHIP BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS without any sexual tensions?

Friendship; whenever you get the word ‘friend’, what comes first to your mind? Is it Loyalty, love, sacrifice, fun and all other virtues history, movies, books, dictionaries have associated friendship with?                 

Can there really be true and platonic friendship between a boy and a girl even at the level of the mind?

                                                                      

Do you think of it as something you could share with the opposite sex? OR is it impossible?

Have you ever dared the devil? – do you have an ‘opposite sex’ friend? Can you spend a night(s) with him/her in a room, on a bed without doing or thinking of doing anything silly?

Can there really be true and platonic friendship between a boy and a girl even at the level of the mind? 

Having a platonic relationship with the opposite sex seems almost impossible nowadays. Most ‘friendliness’ which exist between boys and girls nowadays result from an earlier attempt by the boy to either date or involve in some sexual relationship with the girl and this causes some kind of occasional tension within the so called ‘friendship’. From my personal observations, a boy will wait for the slightest opportunity to lay with a girl he calls his friend. He may maintain a friendly relationship with a girl as long as that is the closest means he thinks could ride her to his bed (‘some day she would be hurt by somebody-maybe her boyfriend, and will need my comfort, and I will just be the best man ever. Who knows where it might lead us to?’). This, because most men have concluded women are emotionally weak and thus a gateway to utilize them when opportunity presents itself (so why not be a patient dog and just be a good friend-for now)?

Men have developed a ‘sex-opportunist’ mind set with thoughts like ‘I might never get this chance again’, ‘she must really be excited’, or ‘this will be the last time we do this’. They believe they must take advantage of every given sexual opportunity because it might be the last to present itself despite the fact the person is their so called friend.

Girls value a lot the ‘friendly’ and platonic aspect of being a ‘friend’. Their thoughts never or on rare occasions exceed to erotic ones. Despite the ‘social shield’ they seem to always ‘wear’ against boys, girls don’t mind having a true and good ‘male friend’ to whom they could confine their secrets, love stories etc. They will hardly have obscene thoughts towards their male friends. While a girl expects her ‘male friend’ to be the person she could confine her little secrets to, make her laugh when she is sad or emotionally down and thinks she will never laugh again, always ready to help each other, cook his favorite meal at times, do assignments together, watch movies etc.,  most boys see things differently(‘the least opportunity, I will have her on my bed, but first I must gain her trust’). I bet you by the time you invite your so-called ‘male friend’ home, he should have started wondering if there can be some chance of a kiss.

Girls find it easier discussing about their partners (boyfriends) with their male friends than the way boys are willing to discuss about their partners. Even on social network, one will occasionally notice girls posting the pictures of their boyfriend, fiancé, or husband but boys can’t take such ‘risks’ easily - why kill the chances of having more girls (well, I talk of some boys, not you obviously).

Most boys get things all wrong. In fact even the girls.

Boys often get confused between a girl’s kind actions towards them for attraction or demonstration of some feelings (love). Consequently a boy may develop feelings or attractions towards the ‘female friend’. The Girl on the contrary may not share such attraction for the ‘male friend’ and she might blindly assume this lack of attraction is mutual.

Have you ever observed the guy who smokes? As he lights the paper and starts smoking, he seems to enjoy every bit of it but yet he never can smoke the stick till its very end and throws it away. That’s the same thing which might happen if you ever ‘commit’ with your friend. You will seem to enjoy every inch of pleasure but the end is you will never be able to finish what you started. You will probably not end in a relationship or even as friends anymore.

If you ever have sex with your ‘friend’ from the opposite sex, you might do the following;

-              Continue doing the ‘friendly-sex’ each time you are in some isolated space till it becomes too late.

-              Pretend as if nothing happened.

-              Take immediate drastic measures so it never happens again (often taken by the female).

-               Fall in love.

-               Stop talking to each other temporarily or forever.

-               Isolation (especially on the girl’s side)

From what I’ve witnessed, no matter what, be sure it will still happen at least one more time for most cases. If anyone is to develop remorse after the act, it will be the girl, asking herself questions like ‘why did I let it happen?’, ‘was this right’, ‘has he just taken advantage of me?’ while the guys almost have no questions troubling them(except for this question – ‘when next again’).

If a consequence to the act is love coming in the relationship, good for you both but things get messy if the feeling of love is not mutual. Women will often suffer here because sex is much more of a symbolic issue to them than the way it is for men. Consequently, that former friendship is at stake. Girls often mount such situations on their minds-consequently they feel isolated.

Girls often mount such situations on their minds-consequently they feel isolated

I advise you never find yourself in some isolated space again, even if you think you should meet so you sort things out. You never know if you will resist what made you do it the first time. You might end up doing another ‘friendly encounter’.

New research suggests that there may be some truth to this possibility—that we may think we’re capable of being “just friends” with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for “romance” is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment.

Are you a boy reading this? If you ever think of dating a girl, or even doing that ‘thing’ with her (you understand what I mean by ‘thing’ right?), never start with friendship. When a lady puts you in her ‘friend zone’, you will just be getting three new possible ‘past time’ jobs; trying to make her forget you are close friends, trying to make her see you love, or desire her sexually…or listen to all her past, present, future romantic affairs with other guys (certainly not you).

So lighten up, decide before you approach.
‘Friending’ the opposite sex can be fun. You might get to share more than what you share with your ‘same sex’ friends or even…your ‘lover’.

It shouldn't be all about 'how can kissing him/her feel like' and the host of perversed questions and thoughts a boy or girl could nurse for the so-called friend. It can exist; friendship between a boy and a girl. Two people who will always be there for each other, without extra thoughts, but just filial love.

All what I say on this post does not reflect every friendly relationship between a boy and a girl or man and woman. Some friends are really friends who will never develop such affection for their ‘friends’ and yet, value the friendship. You could still be aware of the affection one carries for the other, it’s just how you manage and avoid certain situations. Despite everything, you should have a ‘God fearing’ mindset. Get the Importance of Prayers and pray to avoid temptations. (Please read my previous post ‘Why is it Difficult to Pray’).

WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO PRAY

Our relationship with God is usually so confusing. Why do i say so? At least everyone desires to go to heaven that’s the first thing. Everyone is also conscious he or she has to be righteous so as to enter heaven. Though no one has actually seen heaven, you just believe there are two places after death-Heaven or Hell and there are two guys, God or Satan.

No one obviously will like to go to hell, the mythical place for suffering where all banished would gnash their teeth in pain and sorrow. Consequently there is fear in the minds of the humans. There is fear to go to hell, as such, most pray. PRAYERS! What is it you pray for? Is it for salvation and redemption, gratefulness, the fear of the Lord, or for wealth? Nevertheless, none of these are useless. But why do you pray. Are you afraid to go to hell, or you just love your creator and will like to have a better entente with Him?

There are times we are faced with difficult situations that we admit that God is the only solution. We begin praying. We fast, we pray, we fast, we pray. You never forget to do your morning and evening prayers. Bravo. That’s a nice move; you’ve just admitted God is the Supreme Being because you didn’t go to some native doctor or funny occult group. But once your wish is granted, you gradually fall out your praying routine. You’ll start by telling yourself you shouldn’t fall in that temptation of no longer praying, and then later you start by postponing prayer sessions. ERROR: Do not postpone, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FORGET. There are so many activities and temptations in this our contemporary world that only the solid prayerful hearts could resist them and pray when they like. In the end, you get to realise you don’t even think of prayers, talking less of even postponing it- it’s no longer in your agenda.

We shouldn’t pray only when things go wrong, we should “Pray without ceasing.” —1st Thessalonians 5:17. Besides believers often forget to give thanks and praise to the Lord, to recognize he is good and good He always is. He too should be glad to hear from his children, to hear his children telling Him, ‘thank you Oh Lord for with you, I am happy and safe’. But nay, most believers are full of storming problems they throw to God, as if they are never satisfied, as if they fail to realize that God knows what is best for them or God has never handled any of their problems, worst still as if they are the only ones with problems. Am not saying one shouldn’t insist in his or her requests when praying, but people mostly insist in their prayers for particular things just because they want to feel God has heard them, but they don’t believe. They don’t believe and trust God’s choices. We should learn to ask less from God but praise him more, for with that He will always be aware He has children who recognize His greatness and goodness. Who knows, from there I bet there may be no need to ask, for he will always provide, like a father who is happy with his child’s behavior  and always providing for the child’s need because he knows his child’s likes.

There’s this old saying ‘If you are too busy to pray, then you are too busy’. This is trying to show how important prayers are suppose to be in our lives. Nothing is supposed to make you so busy that, ‘you are too busy to pray’

What do you think is the best you could offer to a friend? PRAYERS of course.

      Where can you best ask for Help?

      Where can you best have a guide to the right path?

      Where can you best chat with God your creator?

      How can you best find love?

      Where can you best EVERYTHING?

Prayers prayers prayers…that is the key.

Prayer is so important, but yet we can forget to pray. What is wrong with praying just once a day? Even if it’s just to recite the ‘Our Father’. For most youths, prayer is one of the last things in their programs, with all the night clubs and fancy areas, things to visit and do.

My mum usually tells me ‘Life’s not a race’ and I say ‘your salvation is your war’ fight for it, it is not easy, yet the instructions are there (10 commandments) so easy and simple to at least respect 8. Is it difficult? We just need to try.

So, 'Don't forget to pray today because God did not forget to wake you up this morning.' - Oswald Chambers.

Importance of Video Games

The population at the time took some time before finally accepting the importance and originality of the social media. Social media today is an important tool in our lives today. This surely because of the range it could cover, its efficiency and certain degree of privacy. This to me is cool.

Now Video games!!!!

Some parents these days wouldn’t like to get or listen their kids talking about video games, just because they think it is time consuming, and a waste of that time. Others argue that video games serve as an anti-social forum where the player's incapacity to interact with the real world is dissimulated as he or she becomes an 'all day gamer'. The notion of time consuming and waste of time by parents should be blamed on the gamer. Some have almost lost focus, some don’t go to school, and can’t do assignments; in fact the degree of consciousness has dropped. But this doesn’t mean a parent should prevent the child from playing video games. Parents should understand every nice thing has its negative aspects, even education. YES. Would you like to see your child only reading his or her book, at every opportunity he or she has, never playing outside with friends, at a certain level not having any boyfriend or girlfriend (hehehe, not necessarily)? Good! so everything is about regulating right. So parents should just regulate their kids when it concerns playing games, not necessarily banning them from playing. They could schedule playing time for their kids and even assist these kids while they play, this even brings the family together and creates a feeling of Love.

See how mum and dad assist their kids while they play, doesn't it look beautiful and 'family like'

As a matter of fact, video games are educative. Yes! There is no game a child will play and wouldn't learn anything from there. Games usually have the tendency of making the player think, making the player try to solve certain enigmas or puzzles before getting to a next stage or level of the game. With such challenging situation, and the player wanting to deal with it, even when not playing, is constantly thinking of ways to solve that particular problem he faced while playing. That, to me is the sense of competition and the zeal to achieve that video games provide for their users.

 Besides its obvious nature of entertaining, video games never serve as a means to isolate anybody. It's obvious as most players do challenge amongst themselves and I bet, you can’t imagine the number of friendships video games have made.

Within the playing process much can be known about yourself or somebody. I for one got to understand the type of person I could be. If I found myself in a situation where, first I feel is desperate, second am tired of losing, I get pissed off and head straight to do whatever thing I feel as doing, hoping for some miracle, even if I must die...(seriously?...I mean death in the game). That is almost like giving up. This reflected me in real life situations where anything i found stressful or annoying, either I let go, or I just do anything foolish (mostly) hoping for a miracle. In fact I could easily get distracted or discouraged in things I did. But now, I also hate to be themed a 'looser', so each time I played any competitive or challenging game, I realized being desperate and heading for anything, which probably is your doom-death, was not helpful. I began developing a sense of composure even at rough situations, trying to anticipate, trying to understand why my 'this' didn't work and why his 'that' worked. Presently, I hardly get swayed by difficult moments or situations. I always do my best to understand certain problems I face.

Well, it was just a way I felt video games could affect once personality. One could learn a lot from video games, and while playing video games, you get to know how to reason and react in real time situations. Besides, games are evolving and becoming more and more realistic, and they certainly reflect certain aspects of our contemporary world.

Some people claim that Video games are a childish affair and are meant only for children and retarded minds. Really? It can never be that way; there are some games kids can't play, because there's a lot of reasoning in it and at times obscene content. Nevertheless, some old people still or do play video games (certain types, an old man shouldn't be playing 'God of War' he may have a shock).

See how these friends enjoy themselves in this entertaining yet competitive phase of gaming!!

oooooh! aren't they sexy?

I believe it is advisable, because it could also be an exercise for his or her mind and could prevent the usual tendency of forgetfulness from aged people.

With the opportunity to now play online, more aspects of the social media can be noticed in gaming. It is not only communication in a wider range but also, gaming in a wider range. Is this not amazing? You could sit home and play ‘Fifa 14’ with a Japanese guy (I like these guys). You will have to learn how to interact, get to if possible, know how to say good morning in Japanese language (Cultural affiliation). All these to me and more, is my 'All Powerful Effects of Video games'. The best proof is when one realizes how companies turn to see the range of gamers in the world. As such they believe, having their ads in games is one of the best emerging way of publicity. (This is another long issue to talk about-Advergaming). So is this new emerging and amazing world supposed to be deprived from children? Parents will best know, after all they are ‘Parents' and more experienced. But, 'everyONE must KNOW' games are not useless, just manage your life well and get decent playing time.